All Praise To The State!!

I am posting something that I found from an internet article, and am going to quote a portion of it. I thought it was pretty good.

“Bow down, all ye worshipers, to me, the god of the almighty State, the god to whom everyone belongs from birth to death.

Bring out the sackbut, the cymbals, and the gongs.  Celebrate me, the almighty and compassionate State, who is ready to provide you with all your needs.  Are you sick?  I, the god of state, will have compassion and heal you.  Are you hungry?  I, the divine state, will feed you.  Do you need a home?  I, the holy state, will provide you with shelter.

Are the oceans rising and the planet in need of healing?  Do not fear.  My new messiah will lower the ocean levels and tend to our sick planet.

Come to me, the State, all you who are in need, and you will find rest for your bodies, wanting for nothing.

Of course, I require some sacrifices.  I have some commandments you are to obey.  Here are — entirely coincidentally! — ten of them chosen at random from thousands.

You shall worship only one god: I, the State.

You shall not worship any other gods than the State except maybe Gaia, my handmaiden.

You shall observe strict dietary rules.  Stay away from the temples of McDonald’s, Burger King, and Kentucky Fried Chicken lest you pollute yourself with soda and fats.   But most especially, stay away from the blasphemous food temple of Chick-fil-A.

You shall illuminate your residence with special curly bulbs as holy lamp stands dedicated to me and Gaia, my handmaiden of the Earth.

You shall speak the holy language of political correctness.  The appropriate lexicon will be issued from time to time, as I am a god who often changes his mind.

You shall tithe to me, the State, the fruits of the labor of your hands in order that others be given their fair share.

You shall send your sons and daughters to my temples of learning only.  You shall recognize the messianic mission of my Anointed One, contributing your time and energies to the missionary causes espoused by the Anointed One.

You shall not covet a profit from what I, the State, have built.  You did not build anything.  I did it all.

You shall accept my holy sacrament of child sacrifice.”

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: